Roselle, IL

Home.....for now.

I've been officially home for one week. Luckily I haven't had much down time to think or focus. I'm scared. I'll admit it. I don't have all of the answers I was looking for so my journey continues. I've been spending time with my dear friend who is deploying to Afghanistan for a year. I've been able to catch up with forever friends and I still have many more to see. So I'm very lucky to have so many people in my life that are true, forever friends that I need to catch up with. But I don't know what to tell them when they ask me, "So what did you learn from your journey? What are you going to do now?" My mother sent me an email and said, well now you have to seriously look for a job. I have been doing that but my heart hasn't been in it because Corporate America doesn't make my soul sing. I have one life to live so why am I wasting it? I spent the evening in tonight with my friend and I showed him my scripts from the plays I directed in college. I read my director's notes to him from "Zelda with a Z, Catherine with a C." At 19, I was pretty smart and my 19 year old self would kick my 31 year old self's ass right now.

I lost perspective. I'm fortunate to have it again. I worried about silly things and I let the things that matter most slip away. No more back burner to the things that make my soul sing. And I let fear run my life. I'm embracing the things that scare the ever living shit out of me. Go big or go home, right? I say game on life, give me your best shot. I will take whatever comes and run with it.