Los Angeles - part two

I left Los Angeles and as I drove to Las Vegas I reflected on my trip and the lessons learned there. My epic journey will not be finished when I get back to Chicago, I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up and I haven't had the "a ha" moment yet. The "a ha" moment is what I've been expecting to happen when I get to the place that I'm supposed to live. Maybe that's unrealistic and silly but I am a dreamer and I love a good story. I can't wait to find out how this chapter ends and the next begins in my life. I spent the week with wonderful people and I'm so very lucky to have friends that are so caring and loving. Will is so insightful and wise beyond his years. Ben has a kind heart and makes me laugh till I cry and maybe pee a little (Ben you seriously need to be a stand up comedian). Sarah is so strong and caring. We had a lovely dinner and wonderful conversation. Through Sarah I reconnected with Mychela. Sarah and I went to college together and she knows Mychela through Chicago theatre and I went to high school with Mychela. And I met Lilly and Rui through my dear Tanya.

Lilly and Rui are fabulous, so successful and confident; very much what I would like to be. We went for drinks and discussed our lives and goals. Lilly is driven and passionate. I admire her for her drive and determination. Rui does many things in the industry and as we were talking I asked him if he was happy. He said, "That's a great question; I don't know." That stunned me! Here's a man who produces films, has his own record label and is successful but he doesn't know if he's happy. How very sad. I told them about my journey and some of the experiences I've had along the way and Rui said, "Well you're more successful than I am." I asked him why and he said, because you're taking a risk and impacting people's lives. But everyone you meet has some impact on your life, it's up to you to recognize it. He went on to say that producing a 3 minute song doesn't impact a child like passing out Christmas presents to needy kids does. I said, how do you know that? That song could inspire that child to write, sing, play an instrument, be courageous and do what's in their heart.

We went to the Chateau Marmont and had a few drinks and people watched. Rui told me I'm too wholesome for LA and I need to go home. I laughed but I know that even though my wonderful friends are there and the weather is beautiful, LA is not where I'm supposed to be. The pretentious young agents trying too hard to command the room and look cool at the same time made me feel really good about myself. I actually felt like one of the most secure people in that room because I didn't care if anyone talked to me or looked at me, I was comfortable in my own skin. That's HUGE for me because for most of my life, I haven't liked myself very much and I certainly haven't been comfortable. I know that I'd rather be broke and happy than rich and empty inside. So I'm headed back to Chicago and I have some more stops along the way. I stopped in Vegas last night and am staying tonight and then headed to Utah in the morning.

Now off to explore the Strip in the daylight!